Tag Archives: new years

Memories in a jar

There is one more thing I’ve started for 2014 that I forgot to mention in my last post. I’ve started a memory jar for the year.

The idea is one that plays well with my resolution of mindfulness. Often, when I try to remember a year nearly all of the details get lost. If you’re lucky you can glimpse that amazing moment on the beach battling the waves with your three year old niece or the snow falling against the colors of the sunset on top of the best sledding hill in Michigan. But most likely all the small and beautiful moments that make up what life really is get lost.

Sure, pictures help, but as the years pass they end up just differentiating which was the year you went to Hershey vs. the Poconos. Several years ago I started a two sentence journal where I write a couple sentences at the end of every  day to help remember my daily life. It’s been a helpful way to see the patterns and changes of my life especially since I don’t keep up my actual diary/journal very well.

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But this is something different– this memory jar (which is currently an antique sugar bowl that was in the back of the cupboard), holds moments of happiness and joy and peace and love and friendship that slip away from long term memories. On December 31, 2014 I’ll take them all out and read like fortune cookies, all of the best moments of my year.

Too Late For Resolutions?

I said Happy New Year to someone the day and they seemed confused; “It’s almost the end of January.”

And just like that the clean slate and starry eyed feelings of the holidays are gone. It’s true, we are more than half way through January — already we’ve battled a polar vortex and been thrust back into the daily slog of real life. Already the crowds are thinning out at the gym and the guilt of missed resolutions is settling in as opting for another night on the couch instead of writing or running seems so much more appealing.

And as much as I like to reflect and plan in early January, perhaps these first few weeks of the month shouldn’t be such a sharp contrast to the weeks before — it’s a lot to ask to go from eating, drinking, making merry and relaxing to punishing yourself to be some ideal version of yourself.

Still, all of that said, I have been thinking quite a bit what I want 2014 to hold. Here’s what I’ve been doing to wrap up 2013 and start 2014:

1. Introducing the first annual Davis-Beazley Family Yearbook.
In addition to my highlight reel from my last post, I also created and ordered a “yearbook.” I used to print my pictures every few months and put them in photo albums, but that has slowly died off as I share more photos online and take more pictures. It just seems too daunting and repetitive and takes up too much space to keep up. Besides I almost never look at those albums.
But for the same reasons that I love the year-end recap articles, looking at a collection of all of the highlights from each year will be one consolidated place to spark the memories of the year.

2.The Annual Year End Reflection
I’ve done this for the past couple of years, and it’s a good way to mentally and emotionally wrap up the year and plan for the new year. It’s a series of questions about the year, things like:

 What did you create?

           What challenges did you face with courage and strength?

What promises did you keep?

What brave choices did you make?

What are you proud of?

What is there to grieve about 2013?

What was disappointing?

What was scary?

What was hard?

What can you forgive yourself for?

 After those questions you write one final sentence about the year to declare it complete, all of the good and bad. Answering the same set of questions each year puts a lot into perspective. First, it shows me how much I’ve accomplished: it’s easy to get that down on yourself guilty feeling that my whole life consists of work, commute, chores and collapsing on the couch. Then I force myself to see that I’ve actually done a lot. The next set of questions shows me how year after year I face the same fears and disappointments. 

Then, after that, I write out my goals and primary intention or theme for the New Year. But this year I took writing out my goals one step further:

3. A New Years Letter to Future Me
Inspired by this article that I edited in December at Fast Company, I decided to write a letter to myself on 12/31/14, recapping everything that’s happened in 2014. I doubt that I’ll accomplish all the I claim in the letter, but just the act of wording it as things that have happened gave me the thrill of joy and hope that a long list of personal improvement to-dos doesn’t. Instead I painted a picture of the kind of future I’d like to have.

4. And finally, my theme for 2014
Even though I have a 500-word letter of goals and hopes for 2014, I still wanted to distill my resolutions down to one word. I’ve also been doing this for a few years — 2012 was to “try my best,” 2013 was “less negativity.”

This mantra-like few word single resolution is easy to remember and remind yourself of and can help refocus you when you feel adrift. Here’s mine for 2014:

“2014 is my year of Mindfulness and Appreciating What I Have Here and Now.”

Big things are going to happen this year, and I don’t want to miss them. I plan to pay attention to the minutes and hours of my life.

(I did a Google image search for “too late to say happy new year” and got a picture of this fancy little fellow — maybe that can be my second resolution — more cat pictures!)

My Personal 2013 Highligh Reel

Some people (like my husband) feel that forced reflection at the end of every December is silly and that the whole concept of New Years is pretty arbitrary (these people also feel that it’s ridiculous to pay tons of money to drink in an overcrowded bar on December 31st).

But other people (like me), love the excuse to reflect, remember and list things.After all, as Kermit the Frog said in Muppet Family Christmas, “If it wasn’t for times like these, life would pass by in a blur.”

Below (and mostly for my enjoyment) is my personal highlight reel of 2013 (Here’s my 2012 list). Consider it my annual holiday letter (and likely the first in a batch of New Year’s-related posts).

January

  • On New Year’s Day I found out that I made the Gotham Girls Roller Derby team, later in the month I found out that I was a Bronx Backseat Betty. There was A LOT of Roller Derby moments in 2013.
  • Mark and I take my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and mom to Disney World as a Christmas gift. The trip was my first visit to Disney and also came the day after coming down with a really bad flu.

February

  • A big snow means a day of sledding and winter fun
  • Valentines Day brings a night out of dancing and a lovely meal and a month-long spa pass.

March

  • More roller derby events, lots of family birthdays, hanging out with friends.

April

  • Daily Show taping, start a few months of Anti-gravity yoga.
  • Jeer in my first derby bout!
  • Travel to Vermont to celebrate father-in-law’s 70th birthday.
  • Turn 32 and have a wonderful day seeing Ethan Hawke and Garfunkel and Oates, followed by a weekend celebration with friends that includes Casablanca-themed burlesque, and great food and drinks.

May

  • Ray and Richard visit from Florida and we take the city by storm including a visit to the cherry blossom festival and Yankees game.
  • Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs concert in park, Josh Ritter Concert, Aspera dancers at BAM.
  • Got a car.
  • Celebrate 5 years together at the same places as our first date.  Travel to resort in Jamaica for an amazing 1 year wedding anniversary trip — where I cross TWO more things off of my list of life long dreams– swimming with dolphins and parasailing.

June

  • Day with Hilary on her visit to NYC, Jazz Age Lawn Party, Mermaid Parade, Film Fest.
  • Check off another life long dream at the flying trapeze.
  • Travel to PA for Rob and Katie’s wedding.

July

  • 4th of July BBQ and Coney Island day.
  • Trip to Long Island to visit family @ the beach.
  • Yoga in the park, Philharmonic in the park, movies in the park.

August

  • Cabin weekend in Lake George.
  • Jeered in another derby bout.
  • Mom takes NYC by storm.
  • Jazz Age Lawn Party.

September

  • Labor Day/Mark’s Birthday weekend in Wildwood NJ.
  • Jeered in another derby bout.
  • Meet the Breeds, Maker Faire, Lego art exhibit.
  • Early fall hike in NJ with friends.

October

  • Roller derby Championship bout.
  • Halloween visit to the Bronx Zoo and New York Botanical Garden.
  • Roller skating, Halloween parade, Jeerleader photoshoot.
  • Pumpkin Patch trip in NJ.
  • Halloween Party.

November

  • Traveled to PA for MarBQ.
  • Ended job at Entrepreneur.
  • Started job at Fast Company.
  • Thanksgiving at home with friends.

December

  • Ice skating, holiday markets, cookie baking, present wrapping, Annual Love Actually watching, parties, concerts.
  • Traveled to Michigan and PA for Christmas with family.
  • Had amazing fake Christmas with Mark.